Advantages of bachelorhood

Advantages of bachelorhood

Advantages of bachelorhood

If until recently the recipe of happiness on Earth meant having a house, money, car, pet and a model wife, nowadays the ingredients have changed a bit and the wife is no longer a mandatory requirement for a successful male existence. It is even considered as an obstacle to the achievement of several noble objectives, such as living without “cavil”, periodically changing partners, transforming the living room into a billiard room or maintaining a status of “freedom” that, naturally, bachelors appreciate at superlative. 

It is true that some nostalgic minds still support the idea that men should marry and go through the classic stages of “maturation”, impossible to achieve without marriage vows, plans made together and... shared boredom, but this formula of waiting for old age seems to be increasingly “exceeded” by reality.

The advantages of not submitting to “continuous monogamy” are so obvious that few can fight them without a slight shadow of doubt in the voice.


1.-The primary benefit, confused with the very notion of “single and untroubled by girlfriend’s whims”, is freedom. The freedom to go jogging, dressed in a t-shirt stained with ketchup, to stay as long as you want and with whoever you want in the bar, to talk dirty on the phone with friends, to leave the cinema after the first 15 minutes, to fall asleep very late (and having at disposal all the bed), to flirt on the Internet with any sexy chick discovered by chance, to play video games...

Out of a stable relationship, the big and small decisions of life should take into account only the personal wishes and not the opinion of the mother-in-law, the revelations of the horoscope or her immutable conclusions, obtained after long discussions she had with her omniscient friends.


2.-Also career may have advantages in the case of those who are on their own. Professional ascension implies a strong investment of energy, creativity and time, resources usually required simultaneously by the potential love commitment.

The hours spent as an involuntary shopping partner or enduring romantic dinners, evenings of socializing with the neighbors or “mandatory” therapeutic sessions (on the grounds that “darling, the spark of love between us has faded a little bit”), in the labor economy means real chances for full involvement in projects bringing experience, finances and new horizons.

Because yes, once the progress achieved professionally, it increases also the market share of the “fulfilled guy”, earning, thus, the implicit right to raise the baton in terms of selecting samples worthy of visiting his litter. 

The security of a good income has certainly this effect. 


3.-Why would someone limit to candies, when he can enjoy from time to time, also cookies, ice cream or spectacular cakes? The paddle is so varied, that being faithful with one single category of “guilty pleasures” would really be a (useless) sin. 

 Just like adopting a unique diet, the exclusivist connection prevents the manifestation of curiosity and diversification, condemning to a totally insipid menu (at least after a while).

It is well-known that no other thing jeopardizes the inner equilibrium or the desire for sex as the monotony does, this true monster hidden in routine, often fought with occasional visits to the striptease clubs, bizarre costumes worn in privacy or maintaining with stoicism the appearances “for façade”. 

Unlike the obsolete “binary” variant, where performances are predictable and eroticism is subject to a fixed schedule or repeated “protocols”, the “no obligation” alternative allows interaction with distinct characters and experimenting situations that would otherwise remain unknown.


4.-Some men prefer to sacrifice their freedom for fear of being alone and sad forever. So that they engage on the principle of priority, deciding that the first “offer” that gets in their way, with a smile on her lips and the look to the bedroom, to be their long-term pair.

The strategy works as long as the protagonists are satisfied with little. Or until another interesting character appears in the landscape, they reapply the procedure, tacitly cursing the previous choice. Most of the times, however, such compromises bring with them troubled waves of unhappiness. 

In contrast to this optics, the brave ones deeply attached to their solitary status, have multiple other benefits including: they are open to opportunities, they can periodically test their compatibility with different typologies or “specimens”, gain experience and, clearly, enjoy variety. 

Meaning that they prolifically manage their solitude, and if it will ever “happen”, they will certainly know what that means!


5.-At a practical level, the absence of a lover is equivalent to a relaxed and full wallet. Most women have their own money that they use as they please. But their financial independence (if it really exists), does not exempt the gentlemen who, in addition to the scrupulous justification of their personal expenses (because they have no idea how “investments” should be done), to be skillfully oriented towards the purchase of things much more suitable for living in common: anniversary gifts, flowers, jewelry, holidays, blouses, bags, dresses and of course, shoes (because designers never get tired of rediscovering the fire and reinventing the wheel, each season).

The good thing is that lonely individuals can spend or save as much as they want, not having to draw monthly balances or risk a myocardial infarction at the view of their account statements for the credit cards “slipped” in the hands of their lovers, the latter being firmly convinced that a partner truly devoted, can “prove” his eternal love only by allocating huge amounts of money (to satisfy the typically feminine whims).


6.-Keeping intact the lifestyle and the “toys” reflecting its specificity, is another argument in favor of celibacy.

Some naive ones consider that their natural “habitat” will not have anything to suffer once with uttering the precipitous words of eternal worship and of including the woman in their own existence as a stable and independent element. They are absolutely sure that their famous collection (of anything) is safe, as well as sports equipment, motorcycle, game console, super smart phone or the latest generation laptop.

Ladies have, however, quite other “views”! In no case to gather gadgets, dangerous means of locomotion or possibilities of communication with “others”, that would endanger their “property” (whether male or... “of values”).

Therefore, it is very likely that the “little things” to be gradually “dropped” into the garbage can and subtly replaced by “what is absolutely necessary”, namely: cosmetic utensils, stupid items of frivolous art or kitchenware. The only remaining detail of man's previous life, and also “tolerated” (in his own house!!!) by her “great” goodwill, will be the huge TV which, however, will only be used to watch romantic soap operas or moralizing reality shows intended for those who have not yet understood what “true love” or “eternal fidelity” means.

* * *

Therefore, although contrary to social traditions, celibacy can sometimes be considered a particularly lucid and profitable option. A perfectly honest analysis would reveal that the absence of apathy or emotional failures inherent for the living in two, greatly substitutes the “lacks” invoked by the followers of plush heart-shaped pillows or dreams in white and pink... rarely, materialized in real life.