“There is no greater poison to the soul than jealousy.”
Jealousy is a relatively common phenomenon in every person’s life, resulted subjectively in a state that oscillates between love and hate, reality and projection. In a love relationship, such feelings are considered natural. Of course, natural meaning normal limits which are far from obsession and pathological.
In short, without too many divagations, so might be defined jealousy and so are things with it between two ordinary people, monogamous, with active sexual life, but only between them.
Beyond these situations, there are isolated cases, when people involved in a stable relationship, decide together or separately to provide escort services. How dose jealousy manifest in such circumstances if its presence is quite overwhelming, even during “normal” situations?
Basically, jealousy can sometimes be interpreted as a way of expression of love, of the fact that a man cares about the one beside him and with whom does not want to “share”.
There are also people who, despite this sentimental uncertainty, feel excited at the thought that his life partner could even do... sex with other people. It is not excluded that in such cases, when the couple returns from a job where they attended together (or separately) to providing paid body pleasures, the atmosphere to heat up enough and the two to spend a few incendiary hours, full of uninhibited eroticism and passion.
We often encounter the term “he is mine” or “she is only mine”, although this concept is totally wrong, because people cannot actually become someone's property. It is important to set a maximum level of confidence about the fact that the life partner, although is having “extramarital” sexual relations will always return home where he/she becomes only husband or wife. Home is where any person is authentic, is and wants to surround himself/herself by his/her loved ones.
You probably hear quite often the question: “How can you get over the fact that you cheat each other almost every day?”, which means that from the beginning, those who express their curiosity so, they start with a preconceived personal opinion, not being really interested in how you manage to cope with such circumstances, but more in the “excitement” of the situation itself, making it clear indirectly and subtly, that they could never accept an identical position.
Therefore, some discretion does not hurt. It is obvious the risk that close friends find out about the occupation that you have, but there must be remembered that their opinions are subjective and the feelings, emotions, thoughts and opinions about escort services must belong only to those who are actually involved in this phenomenon.
Another difficulty that escort couples face in the normal course of their intimate life, is due to the pleasure that his/her “partner” sometimes feels while having sex with another person.
It should be noted that sex is a physiological need of a human being, and the body reacts independently of our reason, which means there is no reason to blame each other for the pleasure that you face betrays in those moments... and nor you have nothing to be jealous about.
The human being also feels pleasure he/she looks at pornography (and certainly he/she feels the need to also have sex with one or more characters of these representations), but this is not a reason for jealousy. These things should be taken simply as such and understood completely separately from the emotional side of human events.
However, there are pairs in which partners enjoy one for each other when they feel pleasure from third parties, considering this act more as a “gift” indirectly given to the other one.
Yet how are these couples coming to provide escort services?
Usually the proposal comes from one of the two who for various reasons wishes to do this thing involving the other more or less. It also happens only one to be an escort, and the other one begiing to want to join him/her to provide services together. Out of curiosity, out of the sheer pleasure or just the desire to earn more.
This issue should be discussed in detail, and the two not to rush into making decisions that later can be very hard fixing. To give each other time to reflect on the situation. There is the possibibility that with the beginning of this activity, the relationship not withstand jealousy and pressures. Naturally, it is not something to desire, and in order to avoid an unfortunate outcome, communication is essential.
Communication does not mean superficial discussion, but exchanging absolutely sincere and honest ideas, without avoiding the topics that may seem delicate or arise concerns.
The two need to establish clear desires and limits that consider sure about avoiding situations of frustration or disappointment.
Another question that the two would be necessary to answer is: “Do I really want to do this?”.
Once you are at peace with the decision you’ve made and not do this step for the sake of the other one, things will be much easier.
What happens when the two have a request for job together? How to react when she sees with her own eyes that the man she loves, gives and receives pleasure from a third party? Of course, there are happy cases where exactly this aspect excites the most, but where there are unresolved issues, unspoken frustrations that grind on the inside, definitely jealousy will make way and soon will establish its kingdom.
How to react when only one of the two members of the couple is called on for midnight services? It's much easier if you both lovers work, than when one of them stays home while the other one is getting arranged, dressed, perfumed, giving him/her a fugitive kiss on his way to the client/customer who is waiting. The one who even has the free night can be tormented by worries and thoughts until morning, when his/her partner gets back home. To get more easily over such situations, a good way is trying to look at things the way they are and with detachment. Because if something bad ever happens, it will happen anyway, even if your services would be in any other sphere of activity.
This job is perfect for sex addicts, for whom probably emotional involvement is more a therapy that helps them have a healthy relationship in particular.
People sometimes ask whether escorts can be happy and if they can have a normal life. If we analyze things more in detail, there are ordinary couples who may or may not be happy, which means the same thing applies (by analogy) also to escorts.
Happiness is a subjective topic. What makes a person happy is very possible to make another feel miserable. So, those who have chosen this lifestyle and are at peace with themselves, can have a life together maybe sometimes happier than most “normal” couples.
The basic idea that makes those involved in escort services to be happy and fulfilled is that his/her partner does not provide his/her heart and soul in exchange for a certain amount of money, but only his/her body that can detach mentally in those moments.
On the other hand, problems and conflicts may arise because of the difficulty that escorts have in the context of a life that should be kept secret. It is very hard to hide at every step, without knowing if you can have full confidence in friends that often prove too harsh to judge certain situations. However, it is proven by psychologists, that when two people feel that the whole world is against them and they can not rely on the people around them, they tend to be much closer, which cannot be a very bad thing, especially in the particular situation in which they are due to the job they practice.
When disgust is shown, the shame and desire to stop providing escort services of one of the partners, he/she must immediately share these thoughts with the other one in order to find a compromise solution. People sometimes have jobs that do not like very hard and not always feel like going to work, but when it comes to work as an escort, things are very different and more complicated, this being not the kind of job to practice in the absence of strong intrinsic motivation, without a deep mark and without deepening the possible gaps in a relationship. Therefore, the desire to quit is normal in any job that you might have and it is not normal to continue only for the sake of the other one. Such an attitude is not recommended!
Of course that besides the jealousy that can occur when a couple offers escort services, there is a certain fear of danger. It's both about the possibility to be physically or verbally abused, and about the danger of contacting sexually transmitted diseases. It is a normal fear, which must be considered and discussed both for everyone's safety and for setting limits.
You cannot live with the impression that the “job” you practice has no impact on your life. It is part of your daily existence and sometimes completely influences the decisions you take both separately and together.
To move more easily over all these hardships that come bundled with the decision to have a more “unique” profession, it is important to find support and understanding each one in another. Closeness and intimacy in such conjuncture are not something impossible but depend on the willingness and readiness to make efforts in this regard. The time spent together is extremely important and it is not just to sleep in the same bed. That is really time spent together, but in an unconscious state, not exactly productive for the proper functioning of the relationship of the couple. Time for both means common, exciting activities meant to unite the relationship by gaining new experiences in which the presence of the partners seems essential. You can make a subscription together for swimming, you can subscribe to riding or dance classes, you can book a romantic night only to yourself, you can go in an amusement park... and the ideas are endless. You just have to want it.
When the situation begins to look increasingly grayer, when conflicts arise, fights, fatigue and stress in your life seem like monopolizing your life, a good solution, with therapeutic effect is taking a weekend off and spend it in two far away, in a mountain resort for example, where you can detach from everyday’s problems and have the opportunity to concentrate more on the other one's presence, on spending quality time together.
Another method that can improve your mood when the situation is tense, would be take your laptop or photo album in bed and start to look at the pictures you've made along the beginning of the relationship, trying to remember what you felt in that time for each other. This exercise of remembering will bring amazing effects, as you will find out after a period that anger and negative feelings passed and were replaced with a state of well being and accomplishment. It is a kind of “remember” your relationship is important, that you had moments and memories together that brought you happiness, and that could still happen.
What many forget, whatever if they offer escort services or not, is that you cannot take a relationship granted for a lifetime. Relationships end because sometimes incompatibility is discovered after years, or because of the context in which things evolve. It is important to accept that sometimes the relationship cannot continue because of the job or not. If the couple is in dissolution because of jealousy, the two must realize that this is the main cause that led their relationship at that point, for in the future no one to repeat it, or at least to know how to approach relationships in future.
Each of us faces differently difficulties and jealousy, but what will help you move more easily over them is to realize that at least you cannot be jealous on the other one’s customers, simply because each of you is better than them. Your partner has already made the choice to be with you, and this matters the most!