Safety measures in BDSM

Safety measures in BDSM

Safety measures in BDSM

“Trust is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person,
without having to weigh your thoughts, nor measure your words.”
(George Eliot)

To achieve a proper BDSM experience, the technique only is not enough. The dominant BDSM escort must be able to realize the submissive person’s feelings, especially when the action becomes more dynamic.

The key of a dance is to remain in the same step with your partner. The dominant one leads and the submissive one follows. Not just the ability to “keep up” matters, but also the understanding or coordination between partners.

If we would always know how the one besides us feels and what he/she thinks at some point, then it probably would not be needed security words or negotiations before starting erotic sessions. However, as this is impossible, we present you below, in short, a number of techniques which enable optimal communication between escorts and their clients during the development of BDSM practices:

 

1).-Safety-words. Above all, we must say that besides safety words (which simply stop the action from various reasons plead by the submissive one), there are also “warning” words needed only to slow the action. These indicate that the person who utters them, begins to have difficulty in supporting that practice. “The safety word” (or making the gesture with the same role) is solely intended for situations in which the partner cannot resist or does not have trust anymore, which is more serious, imposing a complete and immediate stop of the scene.

In one form or another, most practitioners incorporate such words or gestures (if the subject is covered by a gag in his mouth), in negotiations prior to the session, as a welcome safety measure, even if it is possible not to be used. As long as each person is unique in their own way and has different levels of affordability compared to others, the convention in question gives him/her a high degree of security, more confidence and in no way it reduces the quality of the scene.

Safety words are used especially for beginner submissive partners (or having emotions), which get somewhat calm, knowing that a break can be taken or it can be stopped by using a single word or gesture. Situations that can destroy a scene are those where customers get stuck behind a physiological or psychological dysfunction, such as: numb hands, a tendril, a panic attack, dizziness or lack of mastery. In such cases, setting the stage can be very difficult to restore (once it has been destroyed). Ideally it would be that gesture or verbal warning formulas to allow the dominant one to anticipate and save the situation before it is too late, by a short break, then the action to be continued as soon as the causing problem is solved.

At the same time, there are also cases in which the dominant person is distracted by the submissive one, the latter being too picky or fickle about how they want to proceed the session. Such customers are quite demanding and uncomfortable because they do not want a BDSM scenario, but rather reliving their own fantasies, in which they mix elements without any connection between them (and especially with the domain they confuse as “artistic and romantic” expression space). Moreover, some solicitors simply say the safety words repeatedly, absolutely useless (irritating!), only to be convinced that they are respected and have the withdrawal effect as consequence...

A submissive person should not abuse the privilege of the ability to request a break and in general, most do not do this. Most submissive persons just want a brake pedal (for slowing it down) and not an off rope. The goal of break words is not to mark mistakes, as neither safety words are definitely not for the interruption of the relationship with the “Master”. They would have to be thought of as true “tools” needed to support the magic of intimate moments, preventing partners before the occurrence of any dysfunction.

A responsible “Master” must know or intuit how the scene goes on from the point of view of the customer too. Also, he is forced to slow or stop any action, if he realizes that the submissive is in difficulty but unwilling to make it known. That's because some submissive people want to reach the maximum limit and even overpass it (defying their pain), and others simply take their role too seriously and do not want to disappoint the “Master”... thus being able to withstand grater pains than would be normal for such circumstances.

A professional BDSM escort must work constantly carefully, with balance and restraint, constantly maintaining the consensus and safety of the submissive one.

 

2).-Waiting signals. This technique was first mentioned by Guy Baldwin. The practice involves the coordination between the “Master” and the submissive one without the use of safety words. During the scene, the submissive keeps in touch with the dominant one, using only non-verbal signals such as: straining hands, leg movement, eyelids blinking etc. “Protocol” works as follows: initially, the submissive makes a sign to certify that he is ready, then the shot follows. While the submissive experiences pain, he shows the sign for break. When ready for the next shot, he gives up the gesture and mimicry manifest himself for more...

 

3).-Try with the “tea spoon”. This is a basic tip for all beginner BDSM escorts. Start and evolve gradually. Do not rush and anything new try it with caution. The best would be to test before that technique and see if it can be done comfortably. Only then you can continue more intensely...

 

4).-Mental connections. Mental connections have the goal of restricting the movements of the submissive one without the use of handcuffs, ropes or any other physical contrivance. It is based solely on his will. There is not a communication technique, but rather a method by which submissive persons can experience different practices without feeling constricted. It is also a way to show submissive’s trust and responsibility to the “Master”. In theory, this method is beneficial to any initial contacts, for it gives to customers the option to stop at any time that they feel they cannot continue or have lost confidence on stage.

Be aware though that the technique in question is not an “universally valid” recipe and applicable in all cases. Physical restraint can add an extra support the action and prevents obedient the submissive one to position unallowed or unknowingly in the face of relatively dangerous actions. So, the mentalism is not recommended for people with experience, but most for beginners who “prove” various possibilities of BDSM at a very low level.

 

5).-Game analysis. A good solution for testing the physical tolerability of the customer is to require them, as after applying a series of shots with different intensity, to classify them on a scale of 1 to 10. Thus, if the answer is 9 or 10, you will know which is the customer endurance limit and you should conduct the action something lighter. If the answer is 3 or 4, then you are free to increase the intensity.

 

6).-Vetting. Checks are in fact regular short breaks made during the action, in order to see the submissive state. You approach them and eventually ask them how they feel. It's extraordinarily refreshing to make such respites during the meetings, being advisable to repeat them once to approx. 15-30 minutes. Examinations should not be extended though too much, in order not to mess up the “atmosphere” or the dynamic of the scenes.

 

7).-Countdowns and break. Another way to keep good contact with partners, is to use a time interval, a countdown (set forth loud) or setting the number of shots that are to be applied (before the start of the session). Even punishment or tickling may fall into the category subject to this procedure, being held for a certain period of time (determined above). A commonly used technique is that of asking clients about a given number of shots that can be used. The submissive ones have a way of control over the action. As the scene progresses, if the mood remains favourable, the number can be increased (only at the request of partners).

 

8).-Cultivate relationships of the game. Of all techniques listed above, the best is to try to know closely those in front of you, possibly promoting a preamble discussion meeting. Experience will teach you how to “read” customers, to understand what they want and how much they can hold. Over several scenes or meetings, you get to anticipate their limits, responses, preferences and desires, in terms of satisfying the most hidden fantasies. Time and desire to performing will support you to distinguish some colours and intensities that will separate you from the beginners. Knowing your partners, you will form a natural base and natural confidence, which will make the relationship more enjoyable, leading to the point where there will be no need for words or signs, pressing all responsibility on your shoulders though.

 

Other tips in brief:

1.-To avoid possible misunderstandings, ask customers if they had had such experiences before or if they are on their first attempt of this kind. Beginners who do not know exactly what it is or what these practices really mean could imagine something else, something that would generally lead to awkward or embarrassing situations. If they are uninitiated, explain them in great detail all that BDSM means, and finally, ask them again if they really want to try this practice.

2.-Ask as many questions (since the establishment of the meeting) about the expectations of your customers to know for sure if they fall into the group of services you can offer.

3.-Set from the beginning whether you offer or not sexual services. Some people can also have such requests.

4.-It is preferable that the meetings take place at your location, as most BDSM type “sessions”, include the use of various erotic toys and costumes. Thus, it is quite inconvenient to go to the hotel or residence customers with large bags of “accessories” and special outfits.

5.-Mutually agree a keyword that indicates the maximum limit of endurance of pain, humiliation or any other practice that you and your client are subject to.

6.-Avoid the practice of services with injury or hurting the client risks.