Rules for BDSM escorts

Rules for BDSM escorts

Rules for BDSM escorts

“When everything fails, read the instructions.”
(Cahn)

BDSM is something that everyone tries sooner or later... at least with the "fingertip".

Although classified as sexual perversions, BDSM practices are not yet entirely fit into this category. Because these are consensual actions, following freely expressed wishes between major partners who have full discernment. In addition, these events are more a discharge valve of inner unexpressed feelings that sometimes makes us mentally build various eccentric fantasies. Mysterious are the ways of neurons, right?

In essence, as defined according to BDSM title (as acronym), there are four distinct “techniques”, but which, however, may interfere with each other:

1)-Bondage. Bondage is the practice of restraining the partner, so as to totally or partially restrict their movements. It should be underlined that restraint must not cause bodily harm. To secure the experience of such a fantasy, you are required serious knowledge of anatomy and a lot of practice so... it would be advisable to start with something easier. For example, shackling or vision obstructing processes by tying a strip on the skin or cloth on the eyes.

2).-Domination. This technique involves the exercise on the clients of certain procedures designed to cause them suffering (both physical and mental). The practice becomes even a form of therapy for those who have high positions (in particular concerning order) and are used to order without taking into account the consequences of too much “affection” of their decisions. The persons in question sometimes need experiences of such a nature, to ease and balance their brain function.

3)-Sadism. Paraphilic focus of sexual sadism involves acts (real, not simulated) in which the individual gets sexual arousal from psychological or physical suffering (including humiliation) of their partners. Some individuals express their fantasies of this kind during sexual activity, but due to a reserved behavior are not conclusive cases. In such cases, sadism involves the idea of ​​having complete control over the submissive, the latter being terrified by the anticipation of imminent sadistic act, but which... does not occur though. Others are going to implement the sadistic sexual impulses in practice, with a partner who suffering (sexual masochist), pain or humiliation. It is possible that fantasies knock off from childhood. Sexual sadism is usually chronic. Some individuals may engage in sadistic acts for many years, but without experiencing the need to increase the intensity, due to an efficient and strict self-control. Usually, however, aggression and violence of sadistic acts increases with time. When practiced by people who do not consent it, the act itself is considered a crime.

4).-Masochism. Search for physical pain or more generally, for suffering and degradation (especially morally) which may be conscious (but also unconscious), especially in the case of psychic masochism. The syndrome is one of the forms where libido can occur. In essence, it represents a reversal of sadism (activity turned into passivity) and a reorientation of it towards own person. Freud shows that originally sadism aimed rather to the humiliation or domination of the other one, and by reversing, the sensation of pain can cause sexual arousal. Moral masochism is specific to subjects who do not want and do not expect their partner to inflict any pain but are able to obtain it unilaterally by various circumstances of life (provoked more or less) confirming this a kind of “unconscious need for punishment”. This manifestation form can occur totally unsexualised.

 

Origin and definition of sado-masochism. Neurologist and psychologist Richard von Krafft-Ebing borrowed the names of famous French and Austrian writers who lived in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, Sade and Sacher Masoch to give a name to sexual perversion that he called “sado-masochism”. In this combination of practices, sexual pleasure is achieved both through challenging and accepting physical pain or humiliation. According to Freud, it is the most common and important form of perversion. The practice of sado-masochism is considered a pathological deviation when it represents the only way a person may be sexually excited.

 

A perversion or a game? Sado-masochism may be just a fantasy used to add some flavor to normal sexual pleasures. It can also evolve into a real perversion, leading to dramatic consequences on victims.

Perversion. It is a perversion, meaning a pathological substitute of normal sexual intercourse, when it is the only means by which a person can externalize extremely deep and persistent intimate desires. In general, sado-masochism is not regarded as a shameful issue if it occurs between two adults consenting to engage in it. Of course, in legal terms, are prohibited any act of torture or barbarity (real). If sado-masochism is practiced against a person's will or whether he/she feels the adverse physical and psychological consequences, the practice can also be described as an illegal act prohibited by the laws of most countries.

The Game. Recent world-wide studies clearly show that many people enjoy experiencing erotic games of domination or submission. These can be defined as practices developed between adult partners, who mutual respect each other, and outside privacy are absolutely equal. In this context, BDSM implies partners’ consent, which is just about experiencing the limits of some more unusual fantasies.

If these conditions are met, the game is performed to increase the intensity of feelings and mutual sensations. Often it is a means by which an eccentric sexual desire is being exhibited very slightly. When it is under control and if the freedom and integrity of each partner are guaranteed, sado-masochism can ease tensions and fears of sexual release.

 

Fundamentals of a sado-masochistic relationship. Such relationships are never completely identical, but they are based on a set of rules which must always be respected. The following principles are intended to allow partners to carry their fantasies within the limits of security, normalcy and free will:

-Be PATIENT. Before building a domination scenario, you must understand that you have no “special” right on your clients. They do not have to listen to you for more than they agree to. Give them time to know you, to ensure you deserve their trust. Finesse and subtlety are important elements in the art of domination.

-Be OPEN-MINDED. Even if considered that the dominator is the one who instructs, never forget that you too learn from others, whatever your experience would be. Accept also the views or opinions of other people that may have a totally different perspective. Be aware that this is the only way to reach perfection.

-COMMUNICATE. You have the responsibility to discover the basic information regarding the persons you’ll have as clients. Limits, tastes, what they dislike, their wishes, medical history, etc.! In turn, do not shroud yourself in mystery. The more customers know about the escort they are addressing, the more confidence they will have in the services they expect to receive. Clearly define the rules of the game. Its limits. Better to repeat the same details twice than to neglect an important one. You are not a soothsayer, nor your partner has any ability to read your minds. A clear, detailed communication is one of the most important elements of such a relationship.

-Be HONEST and FAIR. If you have no experience in a particular segment of this field, when the partner wants to try something, do not pretend you are the best in the industry. Be honest and accept only actions whose progress you are sure you can keep control. Safety should be your main priority.

-Be UNDERSTANDING. A game should be a creative synthesis of your needs and fantasies combined with the needs and pleasures of your partners. Although apparently customers are “submissives”, in reality each is serving the other one. Behave so to gain their total trust and never betray it. Correctly use the confidence you are granted. Always!

-Be REALISTIC. Always stop the game if the customer requires it. Never do this when he is already sorry for having gotten too far. Remember that power, control and sensitivity are the most important in this area and not the intensity of stimulation. Distinguish correctly between fantasy and reality. Not everything is feasible and it is not always convenient to want to fulfill everything.

-Be really DOMINANT. “Submissives” are generally looking for someone to dominate their body and spirit, not just someone to show hardness. Definitely they want a DOMINANT person, not a brute. They offer themselves to you in good faith, and for this you must take all responsibility before them. Be consistent and stay within the frame you have defined. Create guidelines and respect them.

-Stay in CONTROL. If you feel tired, stressed or not in a good mood, do not accept any meeting scheduling. If you are angry or in an unusual emotional state... keep quiet! And, of course, no alcohol or drugs before the scenes. To take control over someone, you need first of all to be perfect conscious and FULLY self-controled.

-DO EVERYTHING WITH PLEASURE! First of all, you've been hired to make clients feel good. Because that is what BDSM means. An immense erotic pleasure, achieved by other means... creative and responsible.

 

Trust. Psychologically, we are tempted to give the partner what we like, believing that what is good for us is certainly good for others, but that is basically... WRONG.

1.-Customers first need SAFETY. If you make them feel safe, you will convince them that nothing bad can happen and then you will be able to put into practice many of the fantasies you want to present.

2.-Do not get your clients scared, do not force them and show PATIENCE. Start with the small, insignificant things that are not a threat to them, to which you feel they manifest a vague curiosity.

3.-Show them that they can FREELLY express their opinions, thoughts, fantasies... without being criticized or condemned by you. Encourage them in any fantasy action...

Sado-masochistic activities should allow partners to build and maintain a strong relationship based on mutual understanding and acceptance of each other's limits. A client who experiences the sadomasochistic games, usually becomes very intimate, enjoying to confess, to share their feelings. An honest dialogue between the dominator and the submissive is indispensable for successful collaboration. The client must express their feelings before and after the sadomasochistic activities, and it is imperative that you are a good listener.

This full understanding gives the atmosphere a certain finesse. Because it is required a good knowledge of each other, it is often difficult to experience sadomasochistic games with completely unfamiliar people that you have just met. Therefore, a minimal “scan” during some "soft" sessions is very welcome.

 

Negotiation and respect of boundaries. The dominant person should know about anything that means sexual experience, fantasies and taboos of the submissive. There always should be a prior discussion and real negotiation about the real needs of a client, and about what they like to avoid. The limits vary from one solicitor to another and may evolve over the relationship, if he remains faithful to the escort.

Never provoke humiliation or real injury to the submissive person. That does not necessarily mean that slapping and “punishment” are excluded from sadomasochistic games. In games of dominance and submission, a certain pain can lead to experiment new pleasures, whose purpose lies not in itself.

 

Using a password. A characteristic of sadomasochistic games is that they can push your limits increasingly more. If you like these practices, you will always want to discover new horizons, you wiil always accept stronger sensations, you will want to do and feel things you have not lived until that moment.

But it can happen that the submissive person to not feel very comfortable during a particular erotic “episode” and it will be useful to him to be able to stop the “action” with a simple predetermined password. The idea of ​​the password (a word) is designed to let you know as soon as something does not please the customer and he wants to get out of this situation IMMEDIATELY. Partners must be notified that there will be of no use to cry or ask for mercy, because these manifestations are usually considered part of erotic stimulation or verbal script of the scene.

Do not use passwords like “Stop!”, “No more!”, “I can’t stand it anymore!”... because they could be misinterpreted or confused with the language specific to the atmosphere. Choose special words totally out of context, such as “Athens”, “Zero” or “North Pole”. If the submissive has his mouth covered, think at some gestures he could do in this situation. When the password is said or the gesture (the sign) is made, EVERYTHING must stop IMMEDIATELY.

Also as a precaution:

-bondage should never be combined with alcohol or drugs (it reduces the body's ability to feel the pain and the blows incurred in these conditions and it can lead to unintentional serious injury);

-you do not have to let the submissive person tied in the same position for more than an hour (there is a risk that the ties impede the blood flow);

-you do not have to place your clients in positions that could hinder their breathing;

-ties must be made so that they can be released very easily.

 

Master and slave... the role of each one. In sadomasochistic games, one partner plays the role of dominator and the other one the submissive, but both participants in this scenario depend on each other to meet their individual needs. Both the dominator and the submissive are equal. Remember! From dominator to “Master” it is only an imaginary difference.

 

The role of dominator or “Master”/“Mistress”. The role of dominator, or “Master”, is to have control over the actions, feelings and desires of the submissive one or the slave. The “Masters” with no experience consider that to dominate consists only in giving orders to slaves. But his attributes are more complex. The “Master” whether man or woman, should find a way to wake up the slave's desire to please and appease him/her. The dominant role is not to create pain or humiliation, but to guide the submissive one and instil ideals, to teach him/her how to enjoy the game and how to live moments of pleasure. Dominators can invent scenes by his own desire, but he/she must also take into account the aspirations and pleasures of the submissive one.

 

Slave or submissive role. Slave deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. He or she should be free to express their opinions and interact fully with the “Master”. The submissive one learns how to please the dominators or to know that his good behavior will be rewarded, while bad behavior will be punished. The slave still often finds various ways to manipulate his “Master” according to their own desires. Indeed, none exists without the other one, and when this ratio is falling apart, the game ends.

 

The practices used by sado-masochists. Sadomasochistic practices can take place in several ways. They may involve sexual intercourse or it may be completely absent. The techniques are varied. From easy or more powerful bondage to milder shots or humiliation... And domination varies from the physical to the psychological one. Therefore, there is light sadomasochism and hard sadomasochism. Some people go to extremes, including using feces, causing burns, scars or hitting sexual organs mercilessly.

In sadomasochistic games, the pain is often considered the most interesting to explore. When a person is sexually aroused, his/her tolerance regarding physical or psychological suffering is greater and the anguish experienced can turn into pleasure. But pain is not mandatory. It is an accessory that can be used or not. It is indeed a symbol of domination, but subjugation without “torture” may create an even more interesting state of euphoria.

 

The background. Sadomasochistic games are often practiced with a ceremonial, according to a script previously determined and involves the use of various accessories: leather jackets, vinyl or latex, fur, boots, bindings, chains, whips, ties, collars, leashes, handcuffs, ropes etc... In the scenario requests or orders are being made, and if the rules are violated, the submissive partner is punished by various means (slapping, whipping, stinging, burning, and so on).

 

Various sensations. Strong reactions can be obtained if there are used items involving intense perception of cold, heat or pinching. So, wax, ice or clamps can be used to achieve these states. Triggering adrenaline caused by BDSM games, causes excitation both to the slave and the “Master”. Clamps are sometimes applied on the submissives’ genitals or nipples. Aching sensation often occurs only after the contact with the clamp is interrupted and it can be removed by gentle fingers pinching in the affected areas. If you use pliers for the first time let the customer try them alone in order to get used to the idea and reduce his/her fear. Also, pay attention to the sensitive areas of the body, especially if you use ice or hot wax.

 

Binding. In sadomasochistic games the submissive partner is immobilized with ropes, chains, handcuffs or just blindfold in order to restrain the possibility of moving or to enlarge the degree of surprise on the actions that will be implemented. Blindfolding can also create the impression of mystery. Since he/she can not see, he/she does not know what will happen, but has also the impression of not being seen. When you get the customers’ hands tied, they feel like prisoners, but at the same time they relax themselves and sometimes this feeling helps detaching and produce an enjoyable hypnotic state. Do not forget! As a “Master” you are responsible for the safety of the slave!!!

 

Body discipline. Whip, belts, horsewhip and sticks cluster are punishment tools that have great erotic power. Flagellation is an ancient sexual practice and it is present in many erotic writings, including the Kamasutra. Pain awakens the senses and focuses on a specific area of ​​the body. Spanking is done with bare hands. The sound and rhythm also participate in the pleasure of those for whom corporal punishment are indispensable to sexual prelude or even to its substitution. Slapping series can satisfy a wide variety of of hidden and repressed tendencies in the mystery of our intimate feelings.

 

Verbalization/Communication. In most cases, strong words as abusive orders or profanity are an integral part of sadomasochistic games. Note, though, that it's just a game! The goal is not to reproduce the torture of the Inquisition. The psychological effect of the words used must be kept under control. The opposing gestures (such as caresses, for example) can lower the intensity of speech and can avoid the production of a possible psychological "abuse". These maintain upright, including the pleasure and awareness of sexual pleasure.

 

Safe, healthy and consented. This should be the motto of the BDSM community. Although seen from outside (by a potential uninitiated observer), such an erotic experience specific to this area may seem intimidating, frightening and incomprehensible... one should know that the persons involved in such practices know perfectly and in detail what exactly they want and agree in advance together what the scenarios they will participate in, and the communication, the respect and the freely express consent are the only coordinates on which such relationships are made (whether they are occasional or temporary).